Many adult children know their parents should have a continuing power of attorney, but do not know how to raise it. The conversation touches on old age, illness and trust, so it is easy to postpone. But the right time is precisely when the parent is healthy and lucid.
How to start the conversation
- From the parent’s point of view: “It matters to us that you decide who will take care of you and how, not a court.”
- Through a real story: a neighbour or relative whose family had to go to court to appoint a guardian. See continuing power of attorney or guardianship.
- Together with other documents: if the parents are planning a will, it is natural to talk about a power of attorney too. See continuing power of attorney and a will.
The parent’s decision, not the children’s
A continuing power of attorney is valid only if the parent understands it and chooses it freely. The lawyer will meet the parent, sometimes alone, to make sure there is no pressure. Children can help, explain and bring documents, but not decide for him.
How to involve siblings
One of the most common sources of conflict is a sibling who feels excluded. Some ideas:
- Tell all the children the parent is preparing a power of attorney, even if only one will be appointed.
- Appoint two children acting together, or divide areas between them.
- Appoint one of the siblings as informed person.
- Set a mechanism for resolving disagreements.
What if the parent hesitates?
That is natural. Sometimes it helps to start with a narrower document, such as a medical-only power of attorney. Sometimes a meeting with a lawyer helps, explaining that the parent continues to manage his affairs as usual, that the power of attorney comes into force only when he can no longer do so, and that it can be revoked. If the parent already has difficulty understanding, it may be too late for a power of attorney, and it is worth consulting on other options.
Where do you go from here?
Every person and every family is different, so a good continuing power of attorney is built around the assets, the family relationships and the wishes of the person granting it. At Paz Israel & Co. Law Office we draft continuing powers of attorney and advance directives, and we also support families when the document comes into force. For more information see our continuing power of attorney page, or contact us to schedule a meeting.
This article provides general information, is correct as of the time of writing, and does not constitute legal advice or a substitute for reviewing your specific circumstances.